Graduation

Today I will receive my official diploma. I will be a bachelor of music education (as well as a bachelor of primary education). I'm so excited!

Almost done

Today I presented my thesis and passed with an 8 (out of 10, equivalent to the american A)! I'm so proud! They gave me all kinds of compliments and told me I was no longer a student but a colleague.

I have to complete 1 more assignment with the school choir (next week) and then I'll get my diploma on the 29th. I'm so proud!! Despite the mononucleosis and working part-time, I managed to graduate from this full-time college within the regular 4 years. I'm so proud!!!!!

It's over!

This is a little video of me, singing Van Jonge Leu en Oale Groond (what do you think, Janneke?). It's the leader theme to a popular tv series here in the Netherlands.

I'm pretty proud of my exam. I passed, my grade was 6.5 out of 10. That doesn't seem very high (5.5 is passing) but that's ok. I agreed with the comments the jury made. After I "messed up" (ie played some wrong notes) I got a little tense and found it hard to relax and let the music flow. And that could be heard. But the jury also said that they could hear I had made a lot of progress in four years. When I started the conservatory I was terrified to play in front of musical people, and the slightest wrong note could make me panic (not exaggerated!). Now, I started a piano piece but noticed it was a little too dark. So I stopped and asked the light technician to give me some more light, and then started over. And that went well!
Considering the fact that three months ago I still slept about sixteen hours a day, I'm pretty darn proud of myself. And I'm so glad this is over!! Now all I have to worry about (college wise) is my thesis and 2 small assignments and then June 29 will be my graduation date!

Very close

Monday the 21st is the date of my final practical exam. I've been very worried and stressed about it, but now I'm pretty confident. Monday night we had the dress rehearsal and last night was the last walk through. It didn't go very well yet, but that's why they were rehearsal. The teacher that guides me told me he was confident and he thought it was a good exam. My piano teacher told me she had never heard me play like I did in four years, and she had never expected me to come this far! Boy was I flattered... And I know I'll pass, otherwise my teacher would have told me to cancel the exam.
Even though I've had sleepless nights and worries, today was a stress free day. M and I worked in the garden. I planted tomatoes, peppers and zinnias that I had sown eight weeks ago. I sowed radishes, lettuce, carrots, beets, leeks and planted potatoes. I've noticed before that working in the garden soothes me. I think I'll be ok. It's only an exam, it's not the end of the world...
(And those of you that have been following me closely know that it's a big step for me to say this!)

Little update

Because M was paged by the fire department, and other than the depressingly awful Euro-vision Song contest there's nothing good on TV, here's a small update on the life of Nicolien...

- I'm counting down to my practical exam. Monday 21 May at 19:00 (OK, 7 PM) my final musical exam will take place. I'm horribly nervous and practicing every day. The day after tomorrow I have my last regular rehearsal and Wednesday will be the dress rehearsal. Thank goodness we'll have 2 days off because of Ascension Day, so I'll have some time to relax (or totally stress out) before the big day.

- June 1st is the due date of my thesis. I only have 20 pages so far (need about 3 times that amount) and I'm not satisfied at all so far, so there's loads of work to be done. But when? Oh, that's right, I had a long weekend to relax. I guess I'll have to use that. And the nine days after my practical exam as well.

- I mailed out our wedding invitations today. That was 110 envelopes that had to be addressed, as well as 110 cards that had to be folded. Why did we choose such a complicated invitation? Because it was pretty. We have the second meeting with the minister on Tuesday.

- I took 2 days off school this week because of the stress level in my mind and body. I could tell I was getting unusually tired again and anything could make me cry. That's why I went to my assistant principal and told him how I felt. When he asked me how he could help, I told him 2 days of sleep would do me good. So he gave me 2 days off! Too nice for words. I did sleep, but I also worked for my exam. It was some good catch-up time.

Well, so much for playing catch-up with you. Lots of other interesting things happened, but I don't feel like typing too much. It's time for a glass of white wine and some chips (I know that's not a sophisticated combination but it does taste good). If I don't write a lot the coming weeks, the above post must have explained why.

I wish I was a chicken

Despite the wonderful summery weather, my head has been pretty stormy lately. So many things have been going on, and it's hard to keep track of everything. The short version:
This week I had to go to my college town 4 nights. Monday and Tuesday three of my friends had their final music exams, Wednesday I started rehearsals for my own exam (which is scheduled for 21 May) and last night I went to a friend's house for dinner and help on some exam arrangements. Of course I played the piano (almost) every day to prepare for my exam, and did voice exercises.

On top of that, we also met with the priest, set up an appointment to meet with the minister, picked out and ordered our wedding invitations, picked out rings and flowers and did some other random wedding prep work.

Just so we wouldn't get bored, we also gathered paper work for the mortgage company (unbelievable how much stuff you need to sign and copy). Oh and of course I had my last practical day for my thesis, and did a bunch of reading and writing.

I think I remember teaching school too, and doing housework.

I remind myself that in a month from now, my practical exam and most other stressful things will be over. After that it's just preparing for the wedding and enjoying the summer. But so many things have to be done before that... Please think of me and forgive me if I don't write as often as I usally do!
And yes, I still schedule nap times and lay-out-in-sun times and try to enjoy them without thinking too much of the things I have yet to do.
I wish I was one of my chickens, then all I had to do was eat, sleep, drink and make an occasional egg...

Work, study and vacation

You may have noticed that my blogging frequency has gone down. That's a good sign: it means that I am spending more time on work and study.

I went back to teaching Dutch to a group of eigth graders of the lowest level (vmbo). It definitely costs a lot of energy, because it's a really noisy group. But they're nice kids and we'll get used to each other quickly I'm sure.Next week we have our spring break and M and I are going skiing in the Italian Dolomites (Southern part of the Alps), together with lots of family members. We're really looking forward to that! I'm sure that some outdoor exercise, combined with amazing Italian food will do me good. I hope to look better than I did last year. But if it snows like it did last year, I'll look just like this again! :)

I've also picked up my studying again. I'm working on my thesis. The main question I'm trying to answer is: "What extra skills does a music teacher in vmbo need, as opposed to a music teacher in havo/vwo?". (click here for an explanation of vmbo/havo/vwo) The reason for that is that I seem to be the only person who enjoys to work with the lowest level kids. Most graduated music teachers start in job like that, but move up to higher levels as soon as they get the chance. I think that is because they weren't properly prepared in college. That's why I will be teaching a group of third year college students, as a part of the practical part of my thesis. And the dean has so much faith in me that the students that take my class will actually be awarded credits, how cool is that?

All in all, I'm back to a busy life. Although I must say that the study discipline I used to have, isn't really back yet. Take now, for instance. I went to the computer to start typing on my thesis (I already have 2 pages) and now I'm blogging again...

Sad

Tonight I was sad and felt sorry for myself. It was because I made a decision. I feel I won't be able to do well on my practical music exam which was planned for 19 March. I had been worried and stressed over it, even losing sleep (which is weird, if you have mono).

That's why I decided that I am going to try and postpone it. Today was a bad day, all I could do was lie on the couch, basically. I did a few loads of laundry but didn't even feel like putting the clean clothes away. But I did make that decision (which was also a lot of work!).That's why I called my counselor and told him about my worries and how I felt like postponing. He totally understood and said he expected the committee to agree, because this was on medical grounds (and not lazy grounds, which tends to happen sometimes). But when I hung up the phone I was not a happy camper. I called my dad and cried, and then I called my best friend and cried. She immediately came over (even though she lives half an hour away). I was happy to have her company. M was away (Monday is his fireman-night) and I felt lonely. All I do is sit in this house, by myself, not being able to be my usual self. She told me all the sweet things I wanted to hear, and said I was totally entitled to complain. And that helped, so now I'm going to bed (once again)...

Slow germs

It's been a while since I last posted anything about my health situation. Which is good, because I don't want to bore you all with daily updates on how I don't feel better..

Before Christmas I hoped to be able to partially go back to work after Christmas vacation. Well, forget that! I am so not better yet. I still need 12-14 hours of sleep a day and can't do without my daily nap(s). And with buying the house and planning the wedding on top of everything else I've had some difficulties falling asleep at nights. That's annoying, to be in bed, and know that your body is really tired but yet stay awake..

Today I made some decisions. I e-mailed some people and did some planning. I asked some questions to my guidance counselor and thesis person. I arranged a drummer, pianist and guitar player to play in my band at my practical music exam. I started to think that I can ask the committee if I can postpone this exam a month of so, because of my medical situation.

All in all: I physically don't feel any better yet, but my head feels a lot lighter than it did last night and the night before. I'm sure I'll be able to sleep much better tonight. I just need to give in to the mono (again or still?), and not start working on things that I know I'm not ready for yet. My doctor told me not to go back to work until I had had the feeling that I had just had a week off, with normal energy level. I'm not there yet... but then again, it's a little better than it was in November and December. So there is a little progress!