Monday, October 16, 2006
Thanks to this blogging thing I've been back in touch with some long lost friends since a few months. Two of them are sisters, they're my American "host cousins" (cousins the family I lived with for a while when I was 17). They're so different.
They were raised in a really religious household (compared to Dutch standards, anyway). They were home schooled because their parents didn't believe in the public school system of their state. They did go to a private Christian school for a while.
Sister A (the elder) was always a little different than the rest of the family. She had a pretty steady boyfriend when she was fairly young. What happened after that, I'm not sure, but I know that she lost touch with the family. They didn't agree with the way she lived her life, and the choices she made. She went to college but only for two years and then she quit (not good). She married a guy her parents did sort of approve of (but couldn't live with him first). Now, two years later (when the contact had recently been restored) they're separated and heading towards a divorce. Of course her family doesn't approve of that either, because "no-one shall break what God has brought together".
I feel sorry for her. She told me, literally, that if they had been able to live together before getting married they would've split anyway and not have had to go through a divorce and the inevitable legal hassle.
She found someone else though, and is engaged again, and pregnant. I hope she's happy.
Sister B (the younger) was happy to follow in the family's footsteps. She married a Christian guy (good) who is even a teacher at a Christian school (very good). She also very consciously chose her life style. She loves her church and the people in it. She loves to teach people about Christ and hopes they'll follow Him.
I feel sorry for her, too. Because she recently thought she was pregnant, and had all the signs of a pregnancy. Yet she wasn't able to see a doctor because her health insurance didn't work yet (this would not happen in Holland). When she did go, they couldn't find a baby in her belly. So either it was a fallopian pregnancy (buitenbaarmoederlijk for the Dutchies) or she wasn't pregnant at all. Poor sister B. I hope she's happy too.
My point? I think the big difference in the way their family treats them is not fair. Both have been through a really hard time. Yet Sister A gets criticized and Sister B is comforted.
I've been e-mailing them both, and am trying to support them both. I think they both deserve all the support they can get.
Another thing for the Dutchies: comments like: "see, I knew those Americans were narrow minded" will not be appreciated. I respect this family a lot, even though I don't agree with all their opinions and all of their choices. And I really don't like to generalize....